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First, Happy International Women’s Day 2023. Truly. We have a lot to celebrate.
Second, please have a look at the 11th Hour Blog if you haven’t. It has some great stuff about how and why “gender identity” is obscuring the material reality of sex.
Third, this post is about how the UK online magazine The Independent decided to honor women today by celebrating a man who once made headlines for singing a song called “Better than you,” about how much of a better woman he is than actual women and then stripped naked and ran his penis over an electronic keyboard. Seriously.
On International Women’s Day this year, The Independent ran a bit by Jordan Gray (a man) called “Don’t tell me what a woman is, based entirely on what she is not.” In it, he writes:
Indy Voices has asked me what it means to be a woman in 2023. I’m honoured by that question.
2022 changed my life. 2023 shows no signs of slowing down. On 17 February, I was plonked on a motorbike and whisked across London to close the National Comedy Awards live on Channel 4. I was handed a Breakthrough Star award bigger than my couch. I took an all-female line-up to the O2. The Independent has listed me as one of the “50 Influential Women of 2023”. All the while I’m keeping a stiff upper lip, while my human rights are disputed by billionaires.
So – what does it mean to be a woman in 2023?
On any given day, I can post a picture of myself online (eating some Wotsits, perhaps?) and the comment section will be inundated with unsolicited definitions of what a woman is... based entirely on what she is NOT. “Women are not men!” “Women don’t have penises!” “Women won’t wheesht!” (which I believe to be some type of gateau?). “Women have babies!” (Tell that to the tens of thousands suffering with infertility.) “You can’t just say you ‘feel’ like a woman!” (Nobody tell Shania Twain...) Either way, it’s all a bit Debbie Downer. So, since you ask, I’d love to throw my own definition of a woman into the ring:
A woman doesn’t define herself by what she’s not.
(Women undeniably do not have penises of course, and for anyone who doesn’t know, “wheesht” is Scottish vernacular for “shut up,” so his reference to “Women won’t wheesht” refers to Scottish feminists who refuse to shut up - cheers, Scottish sisters.)
He continues:
A woman endures. A woman takes a licking and keeps on kicking. In 2023, a woman is angry – and has the power to channel that anger with incredible effect. A good woman looks before she aims.
A woman is strong. Infinitely more so than a man. A woman knows that pain and change are forgone conclusions. A woman’s body is her own.
A woman in 2023 shares her mantle with the England Lionesses, Michelle Yeoh, and the inimitable Sandi Toksvig. Women are the very best of us. Women move history forward. Every woman has the electromagnetic quantum power of Captain Marvel coursing through her being.
A woman thrives, independent of the criticism she faces. A woman’s rights can never be taken away. A woman has the powerful choice to reflect the very best or the very worst of the world. And in either case, that choice is hers.
Or it might just mean “an adult human female with a vagina!”
Call me biased, but I prefer my definition.
Here are some screenshots of the piece in case The Independent decides to take it down:
In October 2022, Gray took to the stage during a show called Friday Night Live wearing a pink pantsuit, sang a song while playing an electronic keyboard, and then stripped naked and ran his penis over the keyboard. Here is the show up until the moment when he strips naked on stage.
These are the lyrics to his charming song (kudos to Twitter user Gandar Dower for documenting them):
I look out at the faces in this room and wish that I could crawl back in the womb. And start again against God’s plans with different glands and smaller hands. I wish the world could finally understand I’m more than just a female Russell Brand.
No wonder why I feel so incomplete. I stand alone on massive fucking feet. And as I gaze out at the pity in your eyes, I guess it’s time I finally realise… That I’m just… better than you.
And in a way I always knew. I’m such a f**king genius You don’t have a f**king clue, ‘Cause I’m BETTER than YOU…. But don’t let that upset you dear. At least you get to watch me play. You’re lucky that I’m even here.
‘Cause I can sing like a muthaf**ker, play like a muthaf**ker, dance like a muthaf**ker, act like a muthaf**ker. Fact. I’m a better lover than any other. If you came here with your mother, I’ll f**k her just like a muthaf**ker.
I suck just like a Chuckle Brother. To you to me to you now back to me. This song’s about me. Doe a deer a female deer, ray a drop of golden sun. Me, a name I call myself. Me, a name I call myself. Me, me me me, me me me.
I’m an arousing little mystery in your husband’s Google history. Go on. Check the results. I’m a perfect woman- my tits will never shrink. And I’m guaranteed to squirt and I do anal by default.
I am the Lizard King. I can do anything. That any other woman can. But then what do you expect? I used to be a man. Sexism! I’m better than you. Yes. I’m better than you.
If you can stand it, here (NSFW) is the bit where he gets naked and plays the keyboard with his penis at the end, which someone has very cleverly spliced with bits of a comedy special by UK comedian Ricky Gervais called SuperNature (on Netflix). I wrote about that comedy special here (it’s my most liked Substack post).
This is who The Independent decided to celebrate on International Women’s Day in 2023.
“Gender identity” is the new misogyny. It’s the same as the old misogyny but with a post-modern twist.
Happy International Women’s Day, subscribers. F*ck off, Independent and Jorday Gray.
